10. Santa's beard? So Lubovtich
9. Jingle Bells: clearly a knock off of the ancient Kohain Gadol's yom kippur gear
8. Decorating the Tree? Heck we've been hanging random crap from our succah for years!
7. Elves: Little guys in the back doing all the work? Heck, that's what us accountants do!
6. Santa Visits: Elijah the Prophet should sue your fat jolly tushy
5. Xmas Carols: Before creation, there was always a really weird dude singing zemirot at a Shabbat table way off key
4. Selling an appallingly overpriced religious botanical item is what Lulav is all about
3. Frosty the Snowman can't hold a candle to Mr. Schwartz the Candyman
2. Kissing. Doorposts. Mistletoe Mezzuzah!
1. Everyone knows all letters to Santa unquestionably end up in the same place: the Kotel.
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